The extent of my learned research* into the defendMarriage.ca argument is this:
1. God lives on high, and we mere mortals must accept its divine providence.
2. This God made its wishes most clearly known by means of a literal interpretation of some forms of the Christian bible, which are of course translations of translated texts which themselves had been translated from Latin which in turn had been translated from Ancient Greek. People who believe that the Earth is 6000 years old don’t like hearing this.
3. Homosexuality was the end of many ancient civilizations, most notably the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, who (I guess) had sought a pre-Canada-in-2005 civil union against the rational forces of heterosexual decency and order. For this they were broken by stone and purified by fire.
4. If gay couples can get married, then what it stopping them from entering my home and raping my babies? [note: this is an actual quote from a defendMarriage.ca supporter]
5. Homosexuals (men, in particular) are far too fond of arguing to allow them access to marriage. This would be like giving candy to a baby, or the same baby to a lion to rape it, or something.
6. Gay marriage is to the decline of civilization what lion baiting with Christians was to the decline of popular sports.
7. Talking to superstitious people should be covered by OHIP, as I nearly bottled myself with some random garbage in order to bring a sense of sanity to the proceedings.
8. Christian groups ostensibly use their money to help the poor and suffering. In reality they increase suffering by inflicting these buses on us.
Hideous. You know, these people keep appealing to the sanctity of marriage as a means to preserve the Children who are our Future. Kids don’t fucking like eyesores.
9. Kids don’t fucking like eyesores.
9a. There are vastly fewer young people in these Christian movements than old ones. Just look at the chairman of the American site.
Hideous. If that man doesn't beat his wife and kids into submission with something the size of his thumb, then I'm the Pope's feeding tube.
10. Why are we even listening to these people? If you don't know anything about cars, you can't go to a mechanic and demand that he or she understand why you think cars will forever run on gas excreted by Unicorns. It's called fucking off until you have at least some semblance of an argument that others might come to see as "possible" and not as some latent form of dementia. Maybe that's the reason why people in the anti gay-marriage crowd don't bring up any legal discourse to justify their positions. Verdict: there is none.
11. Nobody should argue with these people, it's better to just let them make fun of themselves like that kid in 3rd grade who would eat the lice from his own head while singing about sparkles.
*Note: research consisted of talking to the defendMarriage.ca supporters who were at the event. This was a mistake for several reasons. One cannot assume superstitious people to be telling the truth; neither can one disallow the possibility that these same devil-believers are under the continual assumption that they are face to face with the devil when they are talking to you. In both instances, the sample data have been tainted by people who live with their hallucinations in a welcome to my tea party kind of way.
No comments:
Post a Comment