Random Telephone Conversation # 354b-98

QZH: "Afternoon, Hamilton Artists Inc. Quintin speaking."

Female caller: "Are you a towing company?"

QZH "No, we're an artist-run centre."

Female caller: "Can i get a tow?"

QZH: "No, but I might be able to show you what that looks like."

Female caller: "What?"

QZH: "Towing. One car, preferably a truck, pulling another one to someplace it wasn't located initially."

Female caller: "Do I have to pay to have that done?"

QZH: "You have to pay to have anything done, unless it's an emergency."

Female caller: "Aren't you guys CAA?"

QZH: "No. We are an artist-run centre, which isn't currently specializing in towing."

Female caller: "So you can't tow. Can you change tires?"

QZH: "Umm, we do a different kind of work."

Female caller: "Well, this number was given to me by the phone directory."

QZH: "Well, then it looks like you need a tow. Hold on a second, let me write some of this down."

Female caller: "Thank you."

QZH: "Where are you located?"

Female caller: "Flamborough."

QZH: "That is within our jurisdiction."

Female caller: "Can you get here soon?"

QZH: "No."

Female caller: "You can't hurry up? It's raining and we're pretty cold."

QZH: "Well, I'd have to bike to Flamborough, and that might take a half-hour or so. Maybe more, because it's raining and I'll probably also get a little cold. Maybe not though, as biking warms you up quite a bit."

Female caller: "Why can't you get here sooner?"

QZH: "Because I'm on a bike. Maybe a bus goes out there, I don't know."

Female caller: "I pay good money to you people every year! Why the fuck can't you help?"

QZH: "Hamilton Artists Inc has a limited mandate, even though we do service Flamborough and much of the area surrounding Hamilton."

Female caller: "What do you mean?"

QZH: "Well, I'd like to help. But I don't think our membership accords."

Female caller: "But we just paid you guys like a month ago."

QZH: "I don't think so. Did you pay the CAA? Maybe you should call them."

Female caller: "Well somebody cashed our cheque!"

QZH: "I wish it had been us, then I could get on my bike and help you out with towing your vehicle. From Flamborough. On my bike."

Female caller: "You should be able to help."

QZH: "With a bike?"

Female caller: "Are all your trucks on other calls?"

QZH: "No, Mme. We have no trucks of any sort. Well, none that I know of anyway."

Female caller: "What kind of a fucking towing company are you???"

QZH: "None."

Female caller: "So why can't you help?"

QZH: "Maybe I'll start again. Good afternoon. Hamilton Artists Inc, Quintin speaking."

Female caller: "Yeah, you said that already."

QZH: "Really? I forgot. It was so long ago now."

Female caller: "So you plan on just leaving us out here?"

QZH: "There's only so much one person at an artist-run centre can do."

Female caller: "Nothing, right? Nothing at all."

QZH: "Apparently not, no. Have you tried calling anybody else? CAA perhaps."

Female caller: "No. You're supposed to be able to help. That's why your number came up."

QZH: "It looks like we haven't been updated in the directory."

...

QZH: "Mme, have you tried calling somebody who actually tows trucks? The CAA perhaps."

Female caller: "You already said you don't have our membership."

QZH: "We don't, no. I can send you an application package if you give me your address though. We have an opening coming up in a few weeks."

Female caller: "No thanks. I'm not paying twice."

QZH: "..."

Female caller: "You should be ashamed for not helping. I'm going to get a lawyer."

QZH: "I'm not sure if he or she can tow your vehicle either. Try the CAA."

Female caller: "Thanks for nothing."

QZH: "You aren't the first to say that about our organization, you know."

Female caller: [hangs up]